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First Confession

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First Confession Empty First Confession

Post by Flowerchild Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:27 am

:affraid: , Shocked , :affraid: . Shocked

I have to go and make my first confession this weekend. Out of all of the Catholic beliefs, traditions, sacraments this is the one that gets to me. I don't have an issue with the concept, I just have an issue with ME having to do it.

I am not the biggest sharer of my problems, I tend to keep things in and deal with them on my own and in prayer. That is just me. I rarely burden even my husband with my problems, again that is just the way I am.

So here is my dilemma. The Priest at my Parish has been unable to come to any of the RCIA classes due to another commitment that he has on the night we have class. I believe he is saying Mass at a different location for those who are shut in. It has not been an issue until now when I have to go to confession.

For me, who does not like to share very well, I now have to go and confess all of my deep dark uglies to someone whom I don't really know, have only shook hands with on Sunday, but am assuming that I will get to know. "Ok, so we have only met in passing, but please let me sit down with you and tell you all my sins that I have built up for 40+ years." "Oh, and by the way I am sure over the next few years we will get to be good friends. Rolling Eyes I should also let you know that the confessional is more like you are sitting across from the Father, not behind an enclosure. I just feel it would be weird to get to know someone this way. First impressions and all…..

I know that I am making some light of this but it does trouble me. I am thinking of going to a different Parish where I don't know the Priest, and it is more private. I wish I had gotten to know the Father some, before I confess all to him, this might make it somewhat easier.

Does any of this make any sense?

Thanks for listening.

Terri
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Post by BillC Tue Feb 26, 2008 3:52 pm

Hi Terri,
Yep, what you have said makes complete sense...I too have a problem with confession cause I have never liked airing my stuff either. What I do is go to another parish than my normal one so I have some anonymity...it's been the same priest for a few years now, but I don't actually know him so it makes it a little easier.
Another thing you might do is realize that it is really Christ you are confessing to through the priest and He already knows what you've done...maybe that'll make it a little easier too?

As for first impressions and all that, the priests hear many confessions every week, so he probably won't even remember what you've confessed...and know that he's heard it all before many times.

I wish for you a good first confession and a good priest who helps to make it more comfortable for you...I know it can be nerve racking leading up to it...rest assured, that after you've confessed you will feel a huge relief and joy.

and, welcome home by the way... What a Face
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Post by Amber Tue Feb 26, 2008 5:45 pm

I second all that Bill said...

My First Reconciliation was a bit nerve-wracking too (in fact, I get a little nervous every time)... but keep in mind that the priest hears so many things (likely much worse than what you'll be saying), he couldn't possibly keep "tabs" on who did what... The seal of confession is a beautiful thing... in knowing that whatever is said in the confessional, stays in the confessional. And don't forget, he doesn't need to hear all the dirty details... just what the sin is (in number, if possible, and in kind).

Reconciliation brings such relief! I can feel the burden lifting off my shoulders every time! I'm excited about this journey you're on and I know this sacrament will give you much peace as it reconciles your life and heart to God.
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Post by RobK Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:34 pm

I am a cradle Catholic but stopped going to confession for several years. Much for the reasons talked about. It ends up being pride.

When I did go to confession in all humility holding back nothing. That was one of the greatest moments in my life. I finally really identified with the prodigal son. I really saw the mercy of God - and I wept. Confession is great gift that Christ gave to the Church.

And now, at every confession I feel that same lifting and freedom. It has and continues to change my life. Don't worry about what you tell - the priests have heard it all before. When I find myself thinking thusly, I suspect it is my pride trying to point out how "special" I am, that the priest would remember my sins in particular. The devil would like nothing more than to keep us from confessing those sins.

It is kind of interesting (and wonderful) how the sacrament builds in the most important step in reconciliation from the very start - humility. For it is only in humility that we can ever be forgiven.

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Post by Flowerchild Wed Feb 27, 2008 5:25 am

Thank you to all for your answers!!! The reassurance that I am not crazy about my thoughts has been comforting. I do plan to go to another parish where I don't have to sit across and look at the person I am having to spill to. I like the thought of being in a private room and talking with God not so much a person. At least for the 1st one. Thanks again, and I will let you all know how it goes.
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Post by Flowerchild Mon Mar 03, 2008 1:22 am

Here is my update:

My RCIA class was having reconciliation yesterday in the early afternoon. I was unable to attend with my class because I am now working for my parents on the weekends. I had decided that I would go to one of the larger, older Parishes that is close to my parents home. This Church runs their reconciliation later into the afternoon, so I knew I could make it. Also being that it is an older Parish (and very beautiful – it still takes my breath away when I walk in.) they have private confessionals. You all know the ones where the Priest is sitting in the middle room and there is a confessional on each side with sliding windows. In my mind I was thinking, Yes! this will be so much better. I will be able to confess, and still be incognito.

Of course I get a late start due to having a customer come in at the last minute, but still have 30 to 40 minutes left before reconciliation was over. So I go into the Church and I see one of the confessionals has a green light on. I go into a pew, kneel and pray for strength. A gal comes out just as I was getting there, so I waited a few minutes to make sure I was not cutting into any line that might be formed but could not recognize. Just as I was getting ready to get up and go into booth (deep breath) the Priest comes out, and turns the light out. Doh! There was still 30 + minutes left to the posted confessional time. I am thinking to myself now what? I look around and see that there is another confessional that the Priest’s light was on and the door was slightly open. So I head over there (two or three more deep breaths). I get to the door and read the sign and it says “Confessional for face to face confessions” Yikes! Shocked I just hope I did not groan out load. Now what!!! I look around and see that out of 4 confessional this is the only one that is open for business. Doh!

(Big long deep breath and a few short ones) I head on in.

There inside was the Priest reading a book, he did not even look up when I came in. I said hello as I took my seat. He looks up briefly and then down again at his book. I then say “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. This is my first confession.” That brought he head up in a snap and he says “Your First confession?” I said, “yes”. He then put his book down; I guess I had his attention. (lol)

Of course he wanted to know my whole story, what brought me to this point, how everyone was dealing with this, how I was dealing with it, it was really much like any conversation that I would have with any of you. He was laughing at parts of the story, and asking lots of questions. So that made it easy. I had brought a List of Contrition Handout with me and said do you want me to start going over these? He said if I wanted to, but he did not feel that I had probably done anything that bad in the past. (What I nice man to have him think that I am such good a person, when I am really not). I thought it best that I go though the 1-10 list just to make sure that I did not have something that I should have said but did not. With all that said. I was absolved of my sins.

As I left, the Priest thanked me and told me that I had made his day! Which made me laugh. Thanks be to God! Very Happy

Terri
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Post by Amber Mon Mar 03, 2008 3:37 pm

WOW... the priest was reading a book? Shocked It sounded like he had no intention of putting it down until you said "first confession"... I have a feeling your story might have done more for him than just "make his day"!

Thanks for sharing your story! Very Happy
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Post by BillC Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:33 pm

Hey Terri,
Congratulations on your first of hopefully many confessions and the wonderful grace that comes from them!!!!
I'm happy for you that you went through with it even after the face to face dilema presented itself... cheers !!!!
Tis wonderful the bit of grace given the priest also with your story to lift his day and, like Amber said, maybe even more.
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First Confession Empty Helpful Resource

Post by Cindy Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:12 pm

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to recommend this excellent booklet by the late Father Richard Rego. If anyone would like a copy, just contact me privately.

God bless,

Cindy

A Contemporary Adult Guide To Conscience - For The Sacrament Of Confession

First Confession Guide%20to%20conscience

The Contemporary Adult Guide to Conscience - For the Sacrament of Confession assists you in obtaining theologically sound, yet eminently practical material on the Sacrament of Penance. This handy booklet is designed to give you a clear understanding of the nature and necessity of sacramental confession, an analysis of sin and its destructive effects, and a review of the elements of a worthy reception of Penance.

Especially valuable is the detailed coverage of the Commandments of God, the Commandments of the Church, and the seven capital sins.

Cindy
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Post by Mary1973 Sun Mar 09, 2008 6:47 pm

Terri,

I am so glad it all worked out for you. Indeed, the Holy Spirit was at work for both you and the priest.
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Post by CFaith Fri Mar 14, 2008 8:38 pm

Hi Terri,
Congrats!! I applaud your courage.
I had my first confession last year. Beforehand, I met with an RCIA team member to discuss the process. I thought I had to list all of my sins for my whole life, which is very unnerving and really impossible. He told me to relax and just think about those things that were problems in my life that I had a hand in creating, to look for patterns and to reflect on my desire to exorcise harmful patterns of behavior. He said to pray about it and God would impress upon my heart the most pertinent issues to discuss.
I did, and He did.
It kept things simple and focused. It was cleansing and beautiful.
He also said that the priests experience a type of grace, during reconciliation, that allows them to completely let go of, and forget about, each person's confession. At any rate, I believe that our priests have more love for us than we can imagine, and they really do not care to harbor judgemental thoughts about us. They are there to help, and show The Way; be an example of Christ for us.

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Post by Mary1973 Fri Mar 14, 2008 11:33 pm

I have to say that I am a bit surprised that your sponsor does not go to the church with you when you make your first confession just for moral support. I think I would do that if I were a sponsor.
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Post by Flowerchild Sat Mar 15, 2008 3:07 am

Thanks for all your responses. I think I am still chuckling about the whole thing. rotfl

Mary1973 wrote:I have to say that I am a bit surprised that your sponsor does not go to the church with you when you make your first confession just for moral support. I think I would do that if I were a sponsor.

My sponsor did want to come and we had it all set up. What happened was that it was her daughter’s birthday that day and things just did not end up working out as we had planned. I could have postponed and gone the next weekend except that we thought the rest of the RCIA group was gone on that weekend and I did not want to be behind. I do agree that it would have been nice to have her there. Although we might have been caught laughing in the church if we would have been together. Smile
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Post by Jeanne Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:50 am

Terri,
Sorry I am joining the topic a little late...........but I am so glad that it all turned out so well.
I once asked a priest how he could handle hearing so many heavy sins.
He replied he can't remember them. I presume it must be a grace that God gives to our priests that they have a very short memory for our sins. Thanks be to God.
On our end the greatest words we could hear are, " Your sins are forgiven. God grant you pardon and peace."

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Post by paxinanima Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:13 am

Terri,
Thanks for sharing your confession story:)
First confession is something we as previous non-Catholics or previous non-practicing Catholics, dread even mentioning Sad I know I did. But when I recollected my courage and strength it made me even stronger. Very Happy
Sharing such stories might be inspirational to people who still fear confession. We were made out and for love, as God is Love:) Why wouldn't we go all the way through to receive that particular love in this Sacrament of Confession heart
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