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stress when with a loved one

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Post by wonder4u Thu May 08, 2008 11:40 am

i have a problem which has come into my life as i met someone in august and am now in love with. he is a person of great faith in God and we believe in basic things, however, he was raised catholic, become an athiest at some point, them came to know the Lord thru funamentalism. i find his constant references to the Bible, tv preachers and a statement one time that i am in need of more than my catholic faith can give me(mostly meaning more of the Bible) causes me to feel anxiety when anything is ever mentioned. i try to come together on similar beliefs and as i mostly am at his house, i have to go along with any tv shows ect. that he puts on. by the same token, he has always said he has prayed to meet someone like me and feels the Lord has put us together. what do i say or think when he tells me he thanks God every day for me? we are both in our 60's this is a good man in every way and truely loves his Lord. i don't feel he is trying get me to leave my faith( as i have made it clear i am a catholic, and will never change that) but he knows the Bible back and forth and sometimes i feel uncomfortable about the fact that i don't, and am no match for him in that area.
thank you for any response wonder4u

wonder4u
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Post by BillC Thu May 08, 2008 8:58 pm

Hello wonderful4u and welcome to the forum...

A few things struck me from your post that I think should be addressed.
First, and I don't want to be a downer, but take this relationship slowly and be very careful. I have noticed that many times, fallen away Catholics can have the most angst toward the Church and Her teachings. Not saying that you should jump ship, just be careful and take it slow.
One thing that makes me say this is because when you are at his house, you say you have to watch what he wants on tv and imply that it is usually his fundamentalist shows and go along with what he wants to do etc. This is not true at all and if he is truly grateful to God for having you in his life, then he would show you more respect than that, especially after you've made it clear you will not leave the Faith.
So, that being said, pray hard for him and maybe tell him you aren't comfortable coming to his house when it's going to be this way. Explain you don't want to constantly be proselytized but would rather just spend time with him.

Another thing, you say he knows the bible back and forth and you don't feel comfortable in biblical discussions. I have found that most protestants don't actually know the bible as well as they seem to. They have memorized a select group of verses that "prove" their theology and only have a secondary knowledge of part of the rest of the bible. You can simply start reading some scripture every day to make yourself more versed and better in these conversations.
Also, when he starts putting out bible verses that prove this or that, have him show you that verse right then. Read all the verses that are around the one or two he quotes and see that he is likely taking the one verse out of context or simply misunderstanding it. If you read all the related verses maybe you can open his eyes a little, although he probably won't admit to it right away but you might plant seeds here and there.

Some resources you might try would be first, the book Catholicism and Fundamentalism by Karl Keating would give you some insights as to where he is coming from, and if he'd be willing to read it, might open his eyes a bit too. You can get that at Catholic.com or any number of sites or your local bookstore.
Go to http://www.catholic.com/ as they have many tracts and other useful information on the Catholic Church and any number of subjects that could help you.
Also go to http://www.biblechristiansociety.com/ for free downloadable talks that can help you understand and defend the faith better using the bible alone, as your friend seems to prefer.
And of course, keep asking questions here, either things he brings up that you need answers to or just things you would like to know. We'll all do what we can to help.

And lastly, like I said before, pray pray and pray for him and for your furthering of knowledge and deepening of your faith.
BillC
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stress when with a loved one Empty thank u BillC

Post by wonder4u Thu May 08, 2008 11:39 pm

i really appreciate your reply, it is quite uncanny that just today i spoke with a priest about this and your suggestions were almost verbatum to his. even down to the same book recommendation. i feel i do need to get more enlighenment with biblical knowledge. if indeed the Lord did bring us together, possibly it was to wake me up in my faith, as i have been lagging for quite some time now. i want to post from time to time about this and i hope to hear from you again as i feel you have a great deal of insight. thank you so much again. it has certainly been a fruitful day. wonder4u

BillC wrote:Hello wonderful4u and welcome to the forum...

A few things struck me from your post that I think should be addressed.
First, and I don't want to be a downer, but take this relationship slowly and be very careful. I have noticed that many times, fallen away Catholics can have the most angst toward the Church and Her teachings. Not saying that you should jump ship, just be careful and take it slow.
One thing that makes me say this is because when you are at his house, you say you have to watch what he wants on tv and imply that it is usually his fundamentalist shows and go along with what he wants to do etc. This is not true at all and if he is truly grateful to God for having you in his life, then he would show you more respect than that, especially after you've made it clear you will not leave the Faith.
So, that being said, pray hard for him and maybe tell him you aren't comfortable coming to his house when it's going to be this way. Explain you don't want to constantly be proselytized but would rather just spend time with him.

Another thing, you say he knows the bible back and forth and you don't feel comfortable in biblical discussions. I have found that most protestants don't actually know the bible as well as they seem to. They have memorized a select group of verses that "prove" their theology and only have a secondary knowledge of part of the rest of the bible. You can simply start reading some scripture every day to make yourself more versed and better in these conversations.
Also, when he starts putting out bible verses that prove this or that, have him show you that verse right then. Read all the verses that are around the one or two he quotes and see that he is likely taking the one verse out of context or simply misunderstanding it. If you read all the related verses maybe you can open his eyes a little, although he probably won't admit to it right away but you might plant seeds here and there.

Some resources you might try would be first, the book Catholicism and Fundamentalism by Karl Keating would give you some insights as to where he is coming from, and if he'd be willing to read it, might open his eyes a bit too. You can get that at Catholic.com or any number of sites or your local bookstore.
Go to Catholic.com as they have many tracts and other useful information on the Catholic Church and any number of subjects that could help you.
And of course, keep asking questions here, either things he brings up that you need answers to or just things you would like to know. We'll all do what we can to help.

And lastly, like I said before, pray pray and pray for him and for your furthering of knowledge and deepening of your faith.

wonder4u
Seeker

Number of posts : 23
Faith : catholic
Registration date : 2008-05-08

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Post by BillC Thu May 08, 2008 11:52 pm

Hi, I'm glad I was able to help a little bit.
I was kind of at the same place a few years ago except my then girlfriend wasn't necessarily against the Church, she's just not Catholic.
She would ask me questions that I didn't have a good answer for, so I started listening to Catholic radio, watching EWTN (Catholic tv station) and reading alot...
Now, 4 years later she's my wife...still not Catholic, but she does alot of reading and who knows, might someday join us.
Sunday mornings are very difficult going to separate Churches, but we are dealing with it and both are fully committed to our marriage. It is surely possible if both parties are willing to make the necessary sacrifices, but like I said earlier, just be slow and careful.
And, I hope it all works out for you two just as God intends.
Please so keep us posted as you see fit.
BillC
BillC
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Male Number of posts : 67
Location : Reno
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